religion, Uncategorized

Well, Nobody’s Perfect


I am the kind of person that can find appropriate, kind-hearted humor in most things if I look for it. Yes, even the Bible has some funny moments in it if you look for them too.

Most Christians are at least reasonably familiar with the story of Noah and the Ark. In short, here’s how it went down (I wasn’t actually there, but this is what Genesis 6-9 say about it:

  1. God was going to destroy humanity for its evilness
  2. God told Noah to build an ark 450’ long, 75’ wide, and 45’ high
  3. God told Noah to put two of every living thing in it
  4. God told Noah He was going to flood everything in the world
  5. God told Noah he could bring his family along for the ride
  6. God flooded everything
  7. Forty days and forty nights later, the rains stopped
  8. A dove flew out and landed on a branch, proving that land existed again
  9. Everybody left the ark and re-inhabited the earth
  10. God made a rainbow as a symbol of his promise He’d never flood the Earth again
  11. Everyone lived happily ever after
  12. The End.

Well, that ain’t quite the end.

Noah, the man who constructed a 1,518,750 cubic foot ark out of wood, that loaded two of every living thing on it, that saved humanity, that re-populated the entire Earth, went on to plant a vineyard, get drunk, and pass out naked. Yes, really. Can’t make this stuff up. Here it is in Genesis 9:20-24:

Noah, a farmer, was the first to plant a vineyard. He drank from its wine, got drunk and passed out, naked in his tent. Ham, the father of Canaan, saw that his father was naked and told his two brothers who were outside the tent. Shem and Japheth took a cloak, held it between them from their shoulders, walked backward and covered their father’s nakedness, keeping their faces turned away so they did not see their father’s exposed body. When Noah woke up with his hangover, he learned what his youngest son had done.

Yep, the man who followed God’s instructions and saved all the world and every living thing in it partied just a bit too much that day. And Noah was none too pleased to find out that Canaan had drawn attention to his drunkenness and nakedness.

Noah went on to live another 350 years, and lived to be 950 years old. That’s as old as Yoda, which ain’t too bad. Why this one incident made it into the most important, best-selling book in history can only be for one reason. I believe it is there to remind us that we are all, in fact, all human. We are all, therefore, imperfect. If Noah made it another 350 years after his overindulgent night, I’m quite certain God forgave him, as he will any of us that ask for his forgiveness.

If there’s something to take away from this, I’d say it’s to enjoy alcohol in moderation, or not at all. Nothing good happens when dad gets overloaded on homebrew and the kids find him passed out naked. And, the Bible has a bit of a sense of humor after all.

I have to admit, though, that I’d hate for one of those kinds of stories about me to be written in my biography in the best-selling, most-read book in the history of the world.

But, hey, nobody’s perfect.

May God bless you, now and always.

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